Internal Bleeding

Today I was subbing for a twelfth grade English class. The teacher got sick and called me to fill in. He quickly informed me of the assignment for the day which needed very little effort on my part. All five periods were to read silently for the entire period. The next day they would be quizzed on the reading assigned.
The first two classes had no problems with this, but in the class right before lunch I had a springy, talkative young man who addressed everyone as they entered the classroom. After the bell rang I gave the instructions. “Read until you hear another bell, and if you complete the assignment reread it.” This young man scoffs and says “Ya, that will happen.”
After about five minutes of silent reading the young man comes up to my desk and says that he would like a pass to go to the nurse because he is bleeding internally. Now, I have heard a lot of excuses in my time, but this was a first. I could not hold my sarcasm as I asked him if he needed me to call for help. Enthusiastically he says YES, please call for help. He asks me to hurry because he can tell he is bleeding heavily now.
At this point I think, I hope he is making this up and doesn’t keel over on the floor. So, in the interest of not having to explain my inaction to his parents or the principal, I give the young man a pass to the office. As he is leaving I tell him I will call and check on him later.
Twenty minutes later he still has not returned to class, so I call the nurses office. Low and behold he isn’t there, nor was he ever there. It just so happened that the campus security was in the nurse’s office and offered to go search for the internally bleeding student. Now it has been my experience that when a student is ditching a class there are usually one of three places they will hide. First, and most popular, the bathroom, second, the library, and third the nurse’s office. Since we already knew he wasn’t there the search was more focused.
This young man did not go far. He was hiding in the bathroom, and as it turned out was not bleeding internally. The campus security had a good laugh, and then gave him a week’s worth of detention. I have to give him an A for originality.